Of the Beauty of Truth

Coke studio is definitely impressive and though my two favourites are Paimana bitte and Chal diye, I am definitely moved by Khwaja Ghulam Farid's Husn-e-Haqiqi. Compared to the romantic poems, Sufi poetry in particular always perplexes me how people could feel so deeply about belief, faith and things in general abstract let alone put it down into such fluid verse.

Ai husne haqiqi noor e azal	O’ Beauty of Truth, the Eternal Light!
Tenu waajib te imkaan kahun	Do I call you necessity and possibility,
Tenu khalik zaat qadeem kahun	Do I call you the ancient divinity,
Tenu haadis khalq jahan kahun	The One, creation and the world,
Tenu mutlaq mehez wajood kahun	Do I call you free and pure Being,
Tenu almiya ayaan kahun	Or the apparent lord of all,
Arvaah nafoos aqool kahun	Do I call you the souls, the egos and the intellects,
Ashbaa iyaan nehaan kahun	The imbued manifest, and the imbued hidden,
Tenu ain haqeeqat maahiyat	The actual reality, the substance,
Tenu arz sifat te shaan kahun	The word, the attribute and dignity,
Anvaah kahun auzaah kahun	Do I call you the variety, and the circumstance,
Atvaar kahun auzaan kahun	The demeanor, and the measure,
Tenu arsh kahun aflaak kahun	Do I call you the throne and the firmament,
Tenu naaz naeem janaan kahun	And the demurring delights of Paradise,
Tenu tat jamaad nabaat kahun	Do I call you mineral and vegetable,
Haivaan kahun insaan kahun	Animal and human,
Tenu masjid mandir dair kahun	Do I call you the mosque, the temple, the monastery,
Tenu pothi te quran kahun	The scriptures, the Quran,
Tasbeeh kahun zunnaar kahun	The rosary, the girdle,
Tenu kufr kahun imaan kahun	Godlessness, and faith,
Tenu baadal barkha gaaj kahun	Do I call you the clouds, the flash, the thunder,
Tenu bijli te baraan kahun	Lightning and the downpour,
Tenu aab kahun kahun tenu khaak kahun	Water and earth,
Tenu baad kahun neeraan kahun	The gust and the inferno,
Tenu dasrat lichman raam kahun	Do I call you Lakshmi, and Ram
Tenu sita ji janaan kahun	and lovely Sita,
Baldev jasuda nand kahun	Baldev, Shiv, Nand,
Tenu kishan kanhaya kaan kahun	and Krishna,
Tenu barhma bishan ganesh kahun	Brahma, Vishnu and Ganesh,
Mahadev kahun bhagvaan kahun	Mahadev and Bhagvaan,
Teni geet granth te bed kahun	Do I call you the Gita, the Granth, and the Ved,
Tenu gyaan kahun agyaan kahun	Knowledge and the unknowable,
Tenu ibrahim hawa shees kahun	Do I call you Abraham, Eve and Seth,
Tenu nooh kahun tufaan kahun	Noah and the deluge,
Tenu ibrahim khaleel kahun	Abraham the friend,
Tenu musa bin imran kahun	and Moses son of Amran,
Tenu har dil da dildaar kahun	darling of every heart,
Tenu ahmad aalishaan kahun	And Ahmad the glorious,
Tenu shaahid malk hijaaz kahun	Do I call you the witness, the Lord, or Hejaz,
Tenu baais kaun makaan kahun	The awakener, existence, or the point,
Tenu naaz kahun andaaz kahun	Do I call you admiration or prognosis,
Tenu hoor pari ghilmaan kahun	Nymph, fairy, and the young lad,
Tenu nouk kahun tenu ttouk kahun	The tip and the nip,
Tenu surkhi beerha paan kahun	And the redness of betel leaves,
Tenu tabla te tamboor kahun	The Tabla and Tanpura,
Tenu dholak surr te taan kahun	The drum, the notes and the improvisation,
Tenu husn te haar singhaar kahun	Do I call you beauty and the fragrant flower,
Tenu ashwa ghamza aan kahun	Coyness and that amorous glance,
Tenu ishq kahun tenu ilm kahun	Do I call you Love and knowledge,
Tenu vehem yaqeen gumaan kahun	Superstition, belief, and conjecture,
Tenu husn kavi idraak kahun	The beauty of power, and conception,
Tenu zauk kahun wajdaan kahun	Aptitude and ecstasy,
Tenu sakar kahun sakraan kahun	Do I call you intoxication and the drunk,
Tenu hairat te hairaan kahun	Amazement and the amazed,
Tasleem kahun talveen kahun	Submission and the connection,
Tamkeen kahun irfaan kahun	Compliance and Gnosticism,
Tenu sumbal sosan sarv kahun	Do I call you the Hyacinth, the Lilly, and the Cypress,
Tenu nargis nafarmaan kahun	And the rebellious Narcissus,
Tenu laale daagh te baagh kahun	The bereaved Tulip, the Rose garden, and the orchard,
Gulzaar kahun bustaan kahun
Tenu khanjar teer tufang kahun	Do I call you the dagger, the lance, and the rifle,
Tenu barcha bank sanaan kahun	The hail, the bullet, the spear,
Tenu teer khidang kamaan kahun	The arrows made of white poplar, and the bow,
Soofaar kahun peekaan kahun	The arrow-notch, and the arrowhead,
Berang kahun bemisal kahun	Do I call you colorless, and unparalleled,
Besoorat har har aan kahun	Formless in every instant,
Subooh kahun qudoos kahun	Glory and holiness,
Rehman kahun subhaan kahun	Most glorious and most compassionate,
Kar taubaa tart Fareed sada	Repent now Farid forever!
Har sheh nu par nuksaan kahun	For whatever I may say is less,
Tenu paak alakh be aib kahun	Do I call you the pure and the humane,
Tenu haq be naam nishaan kahun	The Truth without trace or name

Husn-e-Haqiqi

Khwaja Ghulam Farid (1841–1901)

--

and for that remote minority of people who have never heard of coke-studio, check out Areib Azhar's rendition (italics not in the rendition). Their channel of course contains many nuggets of pure euphoria..

blah-017: The Vagabond

Give to me the life I love,
  Let the lave go by me,
Give the jolly heaven above
  And the byway nigh me.
Bed in the bush with stars to see,
  Bread I dip in the river -
There's the life for a man like me,
  There's the life for ever.

Let the blow fall soon or late,
  Let what will be o'er me;
Give the face of earth around,
  And the road before me.
Wealth I ask not, hope nor love,
  Nor a friend to know me;
All I ask, the heaven above
  And the road below me.

...

--

from Stevenson's The Vagabond

Life update: have been in a village named Bannerghatta in the City of Guards since 22nd June: enjoyable and full of fascinating people. Might be here for 2 years.

A few worlds apart

The pursuit for testing the limits of my 150 pounds of meat, bones, cartilages and neurons, often results in me reading pieces like these (and often no ensuing test of limits)

Somewhere, there’s a guy who did it in half the time it took you.  He suffered.  Plasma forced its way into his lungs, causing him to hack on repeat.  He choked down bile halfway through, and ended on his back, pupils dilated to the size of dimes. While you were walking around, telling your friends how hardcore your workout was, Guy Number Two was still collapsed, the prospect of driving home as daunting as climbing K2 during a snowstorm. When he finally stood up, he didn’t say a word. (.. againfaster.com )

or the famous Sydney Olympics ads which celebrated humanity

too many inspiring lines .. for instance the "To be a giant" , "you can't me courage" , "you'll smile, I'll smile" or to best it all the "you're my adversary..." one ..

or the lines of Boorstin

We are.. in search of our limits. We start with a single step, but, none of us stops there. With determination, a step becomes a stride, and a stride becomes a leap. With discipline and desire, we push ourselves to new heights. When we rise to the challenge we discover new strengths, our muscles grow stronger, our minds more agile. The body responds performing its marvelous inner dance of life.  We share a design so magnificient, we can delight in movement itself. To find joy in the struggle to be our best - this is the adventure that defines the human spirit that drives us to the limit. (...)

It always strikes me as to how different a world they portray compared to the world of Sahir and Ghalib and Frost and Sakhi or for that matter how all these worlds are so far apart from the ones of Landau and Euler. Who says we have only one life and one world to live it in.

Moreover, in some sense there is such a sense of physical apodicticity , for lack of a better term,when it comes to all our endeavours physical. Something which is in strange ways analogous to the purity in Ghalib's verses or the palpable realism in Micarelli's Music from a Farther Room or Remy Zero's Somebody Save Me, or the elegance of the Lagrangian or the profundity of the Hamilton's principle.

What better proof is needed to realize how much Human spirit is in effect just a ramification of our guts and blood and bones.

Being moved and titillated by something has the often (unexpressed but definitely not ineffable) side-effect of a subtly noticeable derisive view towards things which appear evidently facile and banal to a purist. I for one, while not even a remote Crossfit purist and  who could not claim to have pushed my limits more than any average guy, find such pursuits as hypertrophy, "gymming", jogging, dieting, other associated efforts to maintain an appearance or a healthy weight ( i am referring to average people like me ..say 15-40 years old?) etc.. somehow very.. well childish to say the least. Of course only as childish as breast implants, "hall tempo", devout priests and authors who write content-less thick volumes.

--
Narcissistic miscellany follows (er. i mean other than the obvious exposition above)

I started swimming again, not to mention an ecstatic 45 m dynamic apnea without fins ( read horizontal swim under water for us laymen) -- though a pittance compared to the world record (AIDA) of 213 metres ; see a 200m(with fins) video  or this one ( without fins 25m pool), though ofcourse with a static apnea ( holding your breath) of more than 10 minutes, AIDA records would freak anybody even a bit uncommon -- along with improving my breaststroke and freestyle technique and thereby times. I am obviously way too bad a swimmer. Tom Sietas, you are the Fred Rouhling and Yang Wei of water.

Even though I have run sporadically since April, I realized today to my great relief that my aerobic capacity and lactic acid tolerance seem to have not been affected much.

--
1. just now, caught a house fly ( Musca domestica) with my thumb and fingers.. Must have been a drunk one..
2. re-visited facebook after more than 2 years. seems like sticking around for more than 2 weeks is unlikely.

Post Poll Analysis

( Inspite of the slimy title and it's slimier political undertones, this is of course about something much worse -my own narcissistic poll about my irrelevant future which i had conducted. )



A surprising 117* (sic. / sick) people voted . Since own optimistic estimate was 35, let me say i am more than shocked at the surprise voter turnout. Now as is usually the case with most elections and polls, most of the options doesn't make sense and to make it even more convoluted there were combination options resulting in people voting for some clubbed together items which they wouldn't have voted for individually in the first place.

the conclusions are as follows

• 85% think that i should not continue my sabbatical


• 51% think that i should not go to IISc


• 43 % think that i should not go to IIMB

Even though I knew that the IIM brand was a bit over rated, I am suprised to find that only 26 % really found some value in it by itself. The only way of explaining this would of course be by criticizing the weirdness of the Poll conductor (moi) and the resulting demography selected. Another notable fact is that most people who felt that i should not join IIM Bangalore or for that matter a managerial career at all, were concerned enough to actually come forward and talk to me about it. So eventhough in the numbers game IIMB wins, i believe more people really "care" about me not ending up a corporate bloodsucker or at worst screw up two years of my life doing pointless and completely irrelevant stuff (er.. haven't i been doing that for quarter a century now? ).

• 36%** think that i should not do GSoC

I still remember how ecstatic/surprised/shocked I was when i first got funded by google for my idea in the field of architectural morphology, mentored by Portland State University. I think I had walked around 3 or 4 km before coming to my senses. The fact that the news had come to my attention after around 10 days of the official date shows my expectation level. Over the next years, I had the opportunity to work with amazing people. This year when I got funded again for working with brl-cad, as grateful as i am for this amazing opportunity, I'd be lying if i said it had the same sense of euphoria as the first time. It is true that i learned much more in the last year than any other time. More than anything else, there is the apprehension of whether I would be able to do justice to my own milestones and plan. Add to that two computers failing on you by frying up, things are not exactly very convivial.

Some other obvious facts
    The loser was of course IISc at 10 % . In spite of being the most elite research institute in India and not to mention an amalgalm of a lot of brains and talent.. seems like it is not so much of a crowd-puller . Either that or the voter populace really hates me. Even after being coupled with GSoC we have only 28% who seem to favour IISc. My dear friend gurra's elementary explanation for these votes are the people who are in the waiting list at B, further showing the apprehensions about the value? of a research position in Indian academia.
     The single largest winner was the option of being at IIM Bangalore along with IISc and GSoC ( never mind almost an impossible thing to handle ) with 31 %.
     Coupled with other things - either gsoc alone or gsoc+iimb - IISc has achieved a 49 % support.

Next Step
The logical move would be to wait out for a month ( *** June 22nd is the registration at IIM Bangalore) and work on the gsoc implementation as much as I can ( hopefully the laptop returns  in a couple of days) If nothing happens I would be just another guy who ended up beneath the pergolas at IIM Bangalore purely out of indecision / not having anything else to do ( which if I am not mistaken is a pretty sizeable portion of every batch there. ) I sincerely hope that I don't screw up anybody's life in there ( that would be the egotistic narcissism cropping up .) and equally importantly not get kicked out considering my Kharagpur attendance records.

Further facts regarding what would happen at Bangalore, for instance would i still have control over my breath , only time will tell. Regarding IISc, I still have time to decide and probably too little time to give. Things I am most excited about Bangalore in "roughly no particular" order.

1. Friends
2. Sports climbing
3. Nice ground/weather to run.
4. Possibly better swimming pools ( which won't burn my pockets ? )
5. Better access to gymnastics facilities?
6. Drama (Theatre .. not to mention the Human drama )
7. Riding (Bangalore Amateur Riding Institute)

Notes:
* 8 people who informed me that they did not vote but stated that they would like me to do something not among the options, have not been taken into consideration in the percentages.
** plus those of the 15% Sabbatical votes who though the sabbatical did not imply gsoc
*** The fact that I got a fees waiver for the first year does influence things to a large extent.